Beyond the Mikrokosmos

You looked in the large mirror in front of you and observed the broken woman looking back at you closely. Her careful put-on makeup was dissolved, strands of hair were falling messily around her swollen face and her lips were pressed together in a thin line.

“Why…?” You whispered, your voice raspy from all the crying you had gone through, locked into the small cabin of the museum’s staff bathroom for women. “Why…?” The pain was almost unbearable. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw traces of fiery red lipstick on his skin and this beautiful woman with long blonde hair, kissing him intensely. And then his smile, after he was caught. As if he hadn’t broken your trust, as if he hadn’t done something wrong.
Taehyung had said that you would talk openly as a group about it when someone had found someone new. And that everyone gets included in this process, gets to say how they feel. But this doesn’t feel like that. This isn’t something you could slowly get comfortable with. This was like a brick in your face, a cold shower. And out of everyone, Namjoon? This hit you so fucking hard. All this talk about trust and his difficulties, coming to terms with his feelings and urges regarding you. Where were those doubts with this woman? Where was this kind-hearted man, telling you to never let you go?

You sighed, sitting down on a chair next to the sinks, staring into the air of the elegant, marbled bathroom. Thinking about your feelings, trying to find an answer to all of those paining questions in your mind. Answers to redeem this man, you were sure you fell in love with … a long time ago. Maybe the moment you saw those adorable dimples. Or when he blushed, every time you touched him. Or maybe because of his kind, wise words, his lyrics, and his music. You didn’t know exactly, but knowing that you loved him made everything just so much worse…


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